Table of contents for Issue 124 July 2012 in RUE MORGUE

1. FINAL DESTINATION FLUNG, FLIPPED AND FRIED IN THE SKY 2. SNAKES ON A PLANE SAMUEL L. IS SICK AND TIRED OF SERPENTS 3. KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS CREEPY CRAWLER CRASH-LANDING 4. THE ABOMINABLE DR.PHIBES SQUIRMIN’ VERMIN IN THE COCKPIT 5. TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE WICKED WINGMAN MAKES LITHGOW LOSE IT 6. FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD PUSBAGS PILLAGE THE PASSENGERS TORTURED TAGLINES HUMONGOUS (1982) “IT'S LOOSE. IT'S ANGRY. AND IT'S GETTING HUNGRY!” See more of Jay’s work at jayfosgitt.com…

IN 1974, PARANORMAL INVESTIGATORS BARRY TAFF AND KERRY GAYNOR WERE APPROACHED IN A CALIFORNIA BOOKSTORE BY A WOMAN NAMED DORIS BITHER. The housewife and mother calmly informed them that her Culver City residence was being haunted by a spectral presence. Intrigued, the two men accompanied Bither to her home, where they conducted a thorough two-hour interview – at the climax of which Bither confessed to having been “attacked and raped by a ghost.” At first doubting her story, Taff and Gaynor nevertheless sanctioned a ten-week investigation. Over the course of that time they – and many other witnesses – observed a series of events that would become one of the most disturbing and controversial cases in the annals of American parapsychology, inspiring a best-selling book and a terrifying movie…

“IT'S A BAD IDEA TO LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH A BUCKET OF LIVERS BECAUSE THEY TEND TO SO BAD AFTER A FEW DAYS.NATHAN EXPLOSION” IF YOU’VE NEVER WATCHED METALOCALYPSE, THE ANIMATED TV SERIES ABOUT A FICTITIOUS METAL BAND CALLED DETHKLOK, THE GRAVITAS OF THE BAND’S RECENT ANNOUNCEMENT THAT IT’LL BE CO-HEADLINING A 34-DATE NORTH AMERICAN TOUR WITH LAMB OF GOD MAY BE LOST ON YOU. The show, which is currently in its fourth season (Sundays at 12:15 a.m. ET/PT on Adult Swim/Cartoon Network), posits that Dethklok is not only the most “brutal” band on Earth, but that the fearsome fivesome is so massively popular, it’s become the seventh-largest economy on the planet. In the show, a live appearance by Dethklok almost always signals epic catastrophe; gigs are gargantuan events which,…

CUPS RUNNETH UNDER PIRANHA 3DD Starring Danielle Panabaker, David Koechner and Christopher Lloyd Directed by John Gulager Written by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton Dimension Does the phrase “a step back for the Piranha series” actually mean anything to anyone? For a franchise that started with a film that, in the best of times, was largely forgiven on account of entertainment value, it makes sense that Piranha 3DD would attempt to rack up even more of what made the original so almost memorable. It also makes sense that, as a sequel to a remake of a ripoff of Jaws, its essence has been pasteurized to almost flavourless levels. When marine biology student Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) returns home for summer vacation to work at her family’s water park, things are more…

ASK EDITORS ANN AND JEFF VANDERMEER TO DESCRIBE WHAT COMPRISES A “WEIRD TALE” AND THEY’LL PROBABLY HAND YOU THE WEIRD, THEIR 1000-PLUS PAGE TOME OF SHORT STORIES THAT SPANS THE LAST CENTURY. Though originally considered a lowbrow form of literature, history has been kind to the weird tale, and today it is held in high regard, with prominent “weird” authors such as Algernon Blackwood, H.P. Lovecraft and Ray Bradbury now celebrated for their innovative and imaginative storytelling. The Weird: A Compendium of Strange and Dark Stories (out now from Tor Books) offers readers an opportunity to see how the subgenre unfolded and evolved, through a spectacular, chronological collection of well-crafted shorts. From works by Lovecraft to contemporary greats such as Caitlin R. Kiernan, Ramsey Campbell, Neil Gaiman, Clive Barker and…

Celebrated Italian home video imprint RaroVideo launched RaroVideo USA this year, so let’s dig into a delicious dish of their spaghetti splatter! Paolo Cavara is best known for his rousing 1971 giallo The Black Belly of the Tarantula (see RM#56). His only other foray into the genre, the sleazy Plot of Fear (1976), languished on the bootleg market until recently, when RaroVideo finally released it, wisely eschewing the UK title Bloody Peanuts. The film opens with a pair of brutal murders: a wealthy masochist is strangled by a prostitute and a woman has her skull split open with a pipe wrench in the back of an empty tram. An illustration from the famous German children’s book Der Struwwelpeter is left at the scene of each crime. As the murders continue,…

DIABLO III: COLLECTOR’S EDITION PC, Mac Blizzard A lot of things happen in twelve years: wars, revolutions, sea changes in technology and media – the list goes on. A dozen years have passed between the release of the now-classic action-RPG Diablo II and this long-anticipated sequel. During those ensuing years, we devoted gamers devoured every screenshot and gameplay video released, anticipated the eventual announcement of an official release date, and made sure we had the game downloaded and installed on our computers long before the clocks hit midnight (or 3 a.m. EST) on May 15, when Blizzard hit the “on” switch on their servers. So imagine the catastrophic, mind-melting disappointment when we couldn’t immediately play the game. You might be thinking: you’ve waited more than a decade, what’s a little…

AS AN IMMIGRANT TO, and citizen of, Australia I enjoyed RM#123 immensely as it is great to see some appreciation of Australian genre film in your illustrious publication. I think the driving force behind independent Aussie films and the reason they are so good is down to the can-do ethos and creativity, which was born from the country’s unique heritage rather than a terror of the place itself. However tempting it may be to make an analogy between the inspiring Outback and the Canadian landscape, the Australian environment, climate, flora, fauna and the culture it has engendered are like nowhere else on the planet. Come here and see for yourselves if you dare. MARK BROWN – TAIGUM, AUSTRALIA RM#123 just arrived in my mailbox. It’s so shockingly pink! EDIE SMITH,…

1 THE WALKING DEAD SEASON TWO BOX SET $69.99 This rather detailed sculpture of a decapitated zombie with a screwdriver through one eye may not be subtle, but your copy of season two of The Walking Dead certainly won’t get lost in the shuffle. The four-disc DVD or Blu-ray box set comes housed inside the rotter’s handy flip-up plastic cranium. Deck out your movie shelf with a dead head at amazon.com. 2 ZOMBIE TOILET SEAT COVER $18 What could be more comforting, as you stumble through your dark abode after your latest nightmare about being consumed by skinbags, than finding a bloodstained, gaping zombie mouth over the porcelain maw of your can? And if you’re more interested in saving the planet than humanity, you can get an organic cotton…

THIS ISSUE: LANCE WRESTLES WITH WILD WOMEN In Space No One Can Hear You Suck PLANET OF THE VAMPIRE WOMEN MVD Visual Movies like this make me thank the video gods, because this is one of those rare gems that has everything I need in a movie: sexy vampire girls, scary aliens, high body counts, buckets of blood, pleasure clones, laser battles, strippers, cyborgs… the list goes on! The film follows a group of slinky space pirates being pursued by intergalactic cops for knocking off a space station casino. They become stranded on a – you guessed it – planet of vampires, where, one by one, the crew is turned into bodacious bloodsuckers. Kudos to the producers for combining enthusiastic actors in skimpy outfits, a bunch of foam rubber monsters…

Got my Marjoe Workin’! “Where the hell did you get those goddamn chickens?” A perfectly reasonable question, and one I’ll address later. First, a bit of context. We tend to use the term “career trajectory” most often when discussing a rags-to-riches/riches-torags scenario or some variation thereof, especially in showbiz. It wouldn’t normally pop up when the career in question consists of a run of moderately successful B-movie roles (including some profoundly cheesy horror) and guest spots on 1970s and ’80s network television in everything from Kojak to The Love Boat. But when the subject is Marjoe Gortner, there ain’t a whole lot of normal to be had. The fright film faithful may recall Gortner starring opposite Playboy bunny Bobbie Bresee in the 1983 faux-Fulci demonic possession boobfest Mausoleum. A…

THE SLASHER MOVIE BOOK J.A. Kerswell Chicago Review Press They’ve stalked us everywhere, from summer camps to slumber parties, hacking their way through victims in graphically explicit ways using every instrument of death imaginable. They are the blank faces, shapes and shadowy figures we see in our nightmares, an ageless collection of supernatural demons and murderous maniacs who seemingly defy death both on screen and in our imaginations. They are the “slashers.” The Slasher Movie Book by J.A. Kerswell is an ambitious compendium of the subgenre, which profiles its earliest influences, such as Thirteen Women (1932) and Peeping Tom (1960), all the way through to its descent into “video hell” and its subsequent resurrection in the glut of modern-day remakes. While not every film receives mention in this retrospective, Kerswell…

DARK SHADOWS SOUNDTRACK Danny Elfman WATERTOWER MUSIC Dark Shadows purists have lamented Tim Burton’s comparatively lighthearted re-imagining of the classic gothic television drama, but fans of the series’ dark, dreary roots should find solace in Danny Elfman’s brooding score. Uncharacteristically opting for a minimalistic approach, Elfman echoes the aural atmosphere of Hammer Studios’ or Amicus’ influential genre films instead of his usual bright, grandiose work for The Corpse Bride or The Nightmare Before Christmas. The stylistic spirit of James Bernard is evident within Elfman’s foreboding orchestral cues too, many of which – such as “Deadly Handshake” and “Is It Here?”– sacrifice the composer’s customary, big bouncing themes in favour of slowly intensified string sections, hard-hitting analog synths (“Shadows”) and moody percussion. Elfman diehards will still instantly recognize Dark Shadows as…

USA–1962 In 1961, Federal Communications Commission (FCC) chairman Newton Minow famously damned television as a “vast wasteland.” Wastelands, however, tend to host some very odd life forms. The early 1960s saw a proliferation of prime-time TV horror with anthology shows such as The Twilight Zone (1959-1964) and Thriller (1960-1962). None other than Stephen King named the latter television’s best horror series in his 1981 book Danse Macabre, but his pick for alltime scariest television episode is “the eerie, mounting horror” of Bus Stop’s “I Kiss Your Shadow,” which originally aired on March 25, 1962. A dramatic anthology show of sorts set in a Colorado town, Bus Stop was a loose spinoff of the hit play and film (starring Marilyn Monroe). Its TV incarnation turned out to be more of…

One of the most prominent toy manufacturers of the 1970s, Mego Corporation was well-known for its superhero, Planet of the Apes and Star Trek action figure lines. In 1974, the company introduced “The Mad Monster Series,” comprised of The Dreadful Dracula, The Human Wolfman, The Monster Frankenstein and The Horrible Mummy. Eschewing the traditional Universal monster designs for a unique look, the eight-inch tall, highly articulated figures featured detailed cloth costumes and glow-in-the-dark eyes and hands. For added hours of creepy fun, Mego also released a large castle playset in 1975. The figures were re-released by Classic Toys in 2004, but vintage Mego figures can still fetch $100 or more on eBay when sold with their original boxes. MORE CRYPTIC COLLECTIBLES AT RUE-MORGUE.COM…

May The Boobs Be Ever In Your Favour COUNTESS PERVERSE (1973) DVD Starring Alice Arno, Howard Vernon and Kali Hansa Directed by Jess Franco Written by Jess Franco and Elisabeth Ledu de Nesle Mondo Macabro The Hunger Games movie was sorely lacking in three things: naked archery, lesbian sex and cannibal dinner parties. Well, Mondo Macabro aims to make things right with its director’s cut of Countess Perverse, one of roughly a dozen films Jess Franco made in 1973. As grindhouse expert Stephen Thrower explains in the DVD extras, not only did the filmmaker smash out a dozen flicks that year, he also started shooting at least a couple more that were never finished. Additionally, we learn that, as was often the case with his lurid cheapies, this film was…

Think embroidery is only for grannies and crazy cat ladies? Think again. Toronto native Sabrina Parolin drives a stake into that misconception with her wonderfully original, hand-stitched horror-themed creations. A recent graduate of the prestigious OCAD University in Toronto and an art history buff, she cites artists Vincent Van Gogh, Henri Toulouse-Lautrec and Gustave Klimt as influences, but also master horror artists Basil Gogos and H.R. Giger. Clearly, Parolin’s dark heart lies with monsters. “I grew up watching the original Universal monster movies with my dad, and they remain some of my all-time favourite films,” she says. “The Boris Karloff Frankenstein films in particular strike a chord with me. I love the honesty of those movies and how little they needed to rely on special effects to create memorable performances…

He may not be flat-out horrorshow but after watching Bloodshot Bill snort, snarl and hiccup his way through a set of greased back, ballsout, haunting rockabilly at Toronto’s Silver Dollar Room recently, one thing’s for sure: that boy’s got the Devil in him. As the “one man banned” from Montreal stomps on hi-hats and a kick drum while chopping away at his six-string and growling about girls and swamp monsters, it’s as if he’s chanelling the unwieldy spirit of some old bluesman. The spooky spectacle reminds me of all those well-worn fables of musicians selling their souls at the mythical crossroads in exchange for not-so-god-given talents. “Yes, I sold my soul years ago in my folks’ basement,” he confirms offstage. “At least I think I did.” Having towelled off the…

MOST HORROR MUSIC FANS RIGHTFULLY ACKNOWLEDGE THE MISFITS AS THE KINGS OF HORROR PUNK, but whereas so many of the genre’s progeny seem content to replicate what’s come before, Germany’s The Other consider Glenn Danzig’s original gig the bones of a much bigger sound. “When we started out ten years ago, there were only the Misfits, Samhain and Danzig,” recalls frontman Rod Usher. “Most people hadn’t heard of Blitzkid, Ghoultown and some of the other bands that were part of this first wave of new horror punk bands. At first, we were appreciated because we recreated the Misfits sound in a fashion which was unlike many other bands out there, and then we received credit for not relying on copying but adding other influences while shaping our own sound. We…