Table of contents for Issue 65 March 2007 in RUE MORGUE

Weird Stats Morbld Facts ✢ Paris’ Carnavalet Museum houses a human skin-bound copy of the French Constitution from 1793. ✢ Lon Chaney Sr. appeared in over 150 films during his lifetime, but only 40 of them survive today. ✢ In the past, British grave robbers had several popular nicknames including “Sack-Em-Up Men” and “Diggum Uppers.” ✢ Vincent Price spent much of his early acting career playing a romantic lead. ✢ Folklore of yesteryear suggested that headache sufferers might find relief by wearing a buzzard’s head around their neck. ✢ Canadian actor David Manners, who portrayed John Harker in Tod Browning’s 1931 version of Dracula, claimed, right up until his death in 1998, that he’d never seen the film, nor had any interest in watching it. ✢ History’s worst crocodile attack…

THUMB DOWN THE HITCHER Starring Sean Bean, Sophia Bush and Zachary Knighton Directed by Dave Meyers Written by Eric Bernt Rogue Pictures The recent crop of Hollywood horror remakes has yielded few if any positive results, but the truth is that it doesn’t have to be that way. Though the original 1986 version of The Hitcher provided stylish, violent thrills and a decent good vs. evil struggle, it is also now very much outdated, mired in ’80s fromage and filled with plot holes and foolish characters acting illogically. It certainly wouldn’t be impossible to improve on the original, but Dave Meyers’ brain-dead remake actually ends up doing much worse by ramping up everything that was bad to begin with. The remake closely follows the story of the original, in which…

WARRIORS, COME OUT AND SLAY FUTURE-KILL (1985) Starring Edwin Neal, Marilyn Burns and Gabriel Folse Directed by Ronald W. Moore Written by John Best, Kathleen M. Hagan, Ronald W. Moore, et al. Subversive Cinema Though few have watched it, nearly everyone recognizes the name Future-Kill, thanks to the movie’s original H.R. Giger cover art, which could be seen in every video store during the 1980s. Those who have viewed the film either hate it for its pitifully low budget, immature humour and rip-off storyline, or they honour it as an unintentional triumph of bad moviemaking and, arguably, the definitive punk rock horror movie. In the world of Future-Kill, the downtown city streets are ruled by a gang of political punks who call themselves the Mutants. Although they’re basically a non-violent…

I’ve always been attracted to those who communicate their passions through a variety of mediums. So when I discovered that Italian-American actress Coralina Cataldi Tassoni was not only one of the heiresses of post-’70s Eurohorror but also an accomplished painter and avant-garde rock star, I was struck with the urge to open up her beautiful skull for a spell and muck about in her brilliant brain. Born in NYC in 1971 but transplanted to Rome at an early age, Coralina dabbled in opera, theatre and film before landing squarely on the radar of Dario Argento. At the tender age of eighteen, the ingenue was cast as the spoiled undead birthday girl Sally in the Argento-produced, Lamberto Bava-directed shocker Demons 2, followed by key roles in the Argento epics Opera (she…

Benjamin Conroy was a good man, a pious man, a preacher, until his own adulterous nature and a mysterious code he found hidden in the Bible changed all that. Seventeen years ago, on his youngest son Bryan’s first birthday, Conroy systematically slaughtered his wife, daughter, and two other innocent civilians. It was all part of the patriarch’s last desperate, misguided attempt to keep his family together by securing them a place in the “ancestral afterlife,” but his youngest survived, leaving the ritual unfinished – and waiting. Dead Souls is Bryan’s story. “I feel that those who turn to God more frequently, more devoutly, are more prone to suffer from their ill-wills and desires,” explains author Michael Laimo, who was raised Catholic, but never truly embraced the doctrine. “To me, there’s…

UNA VERGINE TRA I MORTI VIVENTI Bruno Nicolai Soundtrack DIGITMOVIES The third volume in DigitMovie’s ongoing Jess Franco/Bruno Nicolai tribute further advances Nicolai’s stature as one of Italy’s most talented film composers. In addition, one gets the impression that with each CD release, both Nicolai and Ennio Morricone fed off each other’s interest in experimental concepts. On Vergine, there’s a familiar clash of disciplines and idioms – atonal, rock, samba, jazz, and all-out weirdness with fuzzy electric guitar and tinkling piano – although one could argue that blending these diverse elements was the only way to score this wacky erotic thriller. The iconic Edda Dell’Orso contributes some background vocals to the mono recordings, ably moving between tracks of easy listening pap and ethereal mystique. Even if you’re not a fan…

I CAN’T SAY HOW PLEASED I WAS to see your recent coverage of Korean movies. I’ve been really inspired by a number of their movies the last few years: A Tale of Two Sisters, Memento Mori, R-Point, etc., and I’m looking forward to seeing The Host. I was surprised to see no mention of Yoon-Hyun Chang’s grisly serial killer film Tell Me Something, though. Wonderfully dark and twisty with lots of very effective grue. David Schmidt – address withheld THE ARTICLE [ON SILENT FILMS] in RM#64 by Jason Lapeyre was really exceptional. Caligari and Nosferatu are fabulous films, and I always enjoy reading insightful opinions about them. I first really discovered Lon Chaney while reading David Skal’s The Monster Show. In it, Skal also discusses parallels between Chaney’s makeup effects…

COFFIN FURNITURE CASKET BED $4099 Financially secure vampires who bought Coffin Furniture’s coffinshaped pool table can now take a dirt nap in this luxurious, velvetlined casket bed. Constructed of solid pine with a removable top and bottom and adorned with a handmade metal cross and Gothic pallbearer handles, this comfy casket is finished with an ebony stain and lacquer – also available in a variety of other vamp-appropriate finishes and lining colours. Enjoy the big sleep at casketfurniture.com. ALFRED HITCHCOCK POP-UP BOOK $29.95 Each three-dimensional two-page spread of this murder-filled popup book (Little Simon) showcases one of seven of Hitchcock’s most influential films: Saboteur, Vertigo, Psycho, The Birds, Marnie, Torn Curtain and Frenzy. Every layout highlights pivotal scenes from those movies, including the director cameo you might have missed. And…

PHANTASM (1979) There are cult horror films and then there are cult horror films and then there’s Phantasm. It’s a story which has its genesis in writer/director Don Coscarelli’s fascination with funerary customs, some of which he found quaint, some disgusting and some downright pointless. Against that macabre backdrop, Coscarelli constructed one of the most unpredictable and inventive horror/sci-fi hybrids of the ’70s, doubling as a bittersweet coming-of-age story told almost exclusively from the point of view of recently orphaned twelve-year-old, Mike Pearson (played by A. Michael Baldwin). The questions of loyalty, friendship, family and the fear of abandonment that hang heavy in the air are alleviated by wild action sequences and moments of terror (courtesy of the film’s trademark ghoulish funeral director and his head-drilling, flying silver spheres) that…

EIGHT LEGS, NO WAITING CREEPIES 2 Amsell Entertainment Back in RM#50 I had the pleasure to review Creepies, a quirky little creature feature loaded with imaginative miniature effects. Now, the spiders have returned in director Jeff Leroy’s follow-up, Creepies 2, and this time the hungry arachnids are taking over Sin City. Tanks, jet fighters and even a secret government robot are called in to save the day. Meanwhile, a group of gamblers and an Elvis impersonator are trapped in one of the casinos, desperately trying to avoid becoming lunch. Leroy does wonders with the tiniest of budgets, this time building the Vegas strip in miniature, then blowing it all up! It makes one wonder what he could achieve if some Hollywood producer gave him half a chance with a big…

Don Dohler, best known for his hokey 1978 zero-budget, critter-encrusted cult sci-fi/horror film Alien Factor, succumbed to cancer on December 2, 2006 at the age of 60. Alien Factor was Dohler’s first film in a list that grew to half a dozen throughout the ’80s, before he relinquished directorial duties to moonlighting cop buddy Joe Ripple (Harvesters, Vampire Sisters). Dohler’s slapdash debut is fondly remembered, as are the rest of his films – notably the absurd and gory cheapie Nightbeast – for being entirely and marvelously jury-rigged by enthusiastic fans, spearheaded by Dohler, who had a meritable history in the genre. Dohler got his start in classic underground comix by way of a mascot named Projunior that he created for his early-’60s fanzine Wild, a forum for up-and-coming counterculture cartoonists.…

From the late ’50s to the early ’70s, British film studio Hammer became known as “The House of Horror.” In the modern-day comic medium, one particular publisher is chomping at the bit to stake a similar genre-wide claim. The company in question is Dark Horse, and its track record is impressive. Let’s have a look at the past, present and future of comics’ “Horse of Horror,” with Dark Horse jockey (well, editor) Scott Allie. “By the early ’90s – after the ’80s drove horror into the dirt – I knew that a huge resurgence was coming in terms of the genre’s popularity,” says the Portlandbased Allie. He astutely cites the advent of TV’s X-Files (and, later, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), literature’s already-booming Clive Barker (and, later, J.K. Rowling, whose Harry…

Literary Walking Tours of Gothic Dublin Brian J. Showers Nonsuch Publishing You don’t need to have seen Dublin to know it. Home to so many world-class writers (in most genres and eras), the capital of Ireland has been perfectly canonized in literature for centuries. But if you are going to visit, may I suggest carrying this ghastly guide? The goal of author Brian J. Showers (an American) is to trace the history of three great Irish genre writers – Bram Stoker, Joseph Sheridan le Fanu and Charles Maturin – by taking readers to the places they lived and worked on their Gothic masterpieces. In doing so he manages to cover more sinister spots than even the most enthusiastic traveller could ever hope to visit. Bram Stoker may be native Irish,…

Even after Eli Roth converted a leisurely backpacking destination into a house of chainsaw-wielding and blowtorch disfigurement, the world’s youth hostels remain a popular alternative for weary travellers. The Ottawa International Youth Hostel in Canada’s capital offers a little of both. Since 1973, guests at this unique destination have enjoyed good food, friendly service and comfortable accommodations… behind bars. Prior to its hostel years, this building was home to the most violent prison in Canada, the Carleton County Gaol. Connected by an underground tunnel to the Ottawa Court House, the jail was built in 1862. This foreboding stone dungeon was home to 150 inmates, guards, and an infamous gallows, where death row prisoners would be publicly executed. Men, women and even children were incarcerated here; some for murder, some for…

A new film based on the crimes of alleged Canadian serial killer Robert Pickton has been postponed indefinitely amidst concerns about how it could effect the impartiality of the jury in Pickton’s ongoing trial. Shot in 2005 as part of a series of serial killer films by Germany’s Ulli Lommel, Killer Pickton has also raised the ire of groups concerned with the emotional well-being of the victims’ families. “I’ve gotten some really bad, angry press about Killer Pickton,” says co-writer/director Lommel, who is best known for his 1981 horror film The Boogeyman and his work with art house auteur Rainer Werner Fassbinder. “The movie was meant to be released last October, but we agreed to hold it until the trial is finished. I decided it was the right thing to…

It takes a rare breed to survive one Phantasm film unscathed, never mind the whole series. Like many horror movies, Phantasm’s signature star is its villain – Angus Scrimm’s realitybending, shape-shifting alien Tall Man – and even the most virtuous characters are rarely spared the business end of his skull-drilling silver spheres of death by the time the credits roll. But ass-kicking, guitar-picking, soft-serve specialist Reggie Bannister has made it through all four films over the course of two decades. Armed with intestinal fortitude, incredible luck (except with women) and one big motherfuckin’ custom-built shotgun, he’s been the comrade-in-arms to long-suffering Mike Pearson (alternately played by A. Michael Baldwin and James LeGros) in the endless battle against the Tall Man’s diminutive army of the undead. “I think Reggie’s the kind…

An arrogant, self-absorbed filmmaker attempts to jump-start his stalled career by exploiting a grey-skinned, fish-faced freak baby, which in turn exploits him for his various bodily excretions. Fed up, he destroys the beast, spends $100,000 to procure himself a night of passion (almost) with the late Jean Harlow, directs a Full Moon cheapie for Charles Band in Romania and commits suicide on a reality TV show only to find himself drifting around Hollywood in search of another body to inhabit. That’s just the first three chapters of Development Hell – then it gets weird. Equal parts allegory, ghost story, thriller, love letter, hate mail and black, black satire, Mick Garris’ first novel (now available in hardcover from Cemetery Dance) is just over 300 pages and delivers on the lofty promise…

MERCY patrickroddy.com Anyone who willingly subjects himself to a large supply of DIY horror flicks will notice common mistakes that pop up from film to film. Ironically, these shortcomings have emerged as weird, stylistic conventions of the form itself. Right at the top of the list is one of the greatest fumbles of DIY horror: an abominable sense of pacing. Patrick Roddy’s feature Mercy is no exception to this frequent pitfall. It is impossible to survive a screening of this flick without reaching for the fast-forward button. Despite the ponderous pacing, though, it boasts riches that cannot easily be dismissed. Actor Gary Shannon delivers a fantastic performance as John Mercy, a lonely, middle-aged man who gets out of jail after twenty years and is determined to set his life straight.…

LAS MOMIAS DE MEXICO THE AZTEC MUMMY COLLECTION (1957) Starring Ramón Gay, Rosa Arenas and Luis Aceves Castañeda Directed by Rafael Portillo Written by Guillermo Calderón and Alfredo Salazar BCI Eclipse When the classic Universal horror films arrived on television in the 1950s, it was Mexican film producers who first saw the box-office possibilities of reviving timeless monsters like Dracula and the Mummy and recontextualizing them within their own cultural history. The Aztec Mummy and its sequels, Curse of the Aztec Mummy and The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy, were among the country’s first attempts to create an entirely indigenous creature feature, and helped usher in a new wave of Mexican horror, as showcased on BCI Eclipse’s new DVD box set of these three influential feature films. While the re-dubbed…

RAMMSTEIN Volkerball Special Edition Metal/Industrial UNIVERSAL Germany’s prime “tanz metal” export take its gospel of dystopia to the despondent youth of the world, here represented by mostly black-clad audiences in France, England, Japan and Russia. This impressive three-disc (one CD, two DVDs) Special Edition live release spans the band’s thirteen-year career, showcasing their unique brand of metalindustrial, that sounds likes it’s ripping its way through living flesh – appropriate, given that Rammstein took its name from a 1988 airshow disaster. All is as it should be on the live CD, with the band dutifully machine-gunning its way through a full metal jacket of hits, including “Links 2 3 4,” “Keine Lust,” “Feuer Frei!,” “Mein Teil,” “Amerika,” “Benzin” and, of course, “Du Hast,” to which they owe much of their North…

HIGHEST RATING IS THREE. GAMES REVIEWED BY ANDREW LEE MMM…BRAINS! Dice Game Twilight Creations Inc. Sick and tired of hobbling through the mall, and with nothing left to eat in the graveyard, you and your undead pals have just hit the zombie motherlode after stumbling onto a stash of 50 fresh, succulent brains. Now you’ve got to fight each other to see who gets to eat them all. Utilizing very simple rules, players take turns rolling five colour-coded dice to determine how many brains they get to scoop from the stash. After all of them have been divvied up, it’s time to get really greedy. This is where the game changes, as rolls of the dice now indicate how many meals you’re allowed to either take from or have to…